“I don't normally leave testimonials, but felt moved to for this week that I've completed, so here goes:
When I talked with David last week, I was a rambling mess; still bewildered, shocked and angry that my wife had left and was seeing other people…
I was honestly skeptical about his suggestion that I invest a week of effort to “remove the mud from my windshield”. I thought he was trying to get my money and I was hesitant, but my heart felt that I needed something like this and decided to give it a go.
This past week has given me so much clarity. The lesson plan David put me on has changed me a lot in just 7 days.
Understanding why my wife is acting the way she is and realizing how my Inner Cat shows up to ruin my marriage have been massive breakthroughs.
I’ve realized how so many of my actions and lack of actions have been perceived by my wife, which has led to the hurt on her side. I’ve caught myself doing inner-cat things and I’m stopping them because I don’t want to feed the part that caused the marriage cancer to begin with.
Until this week I didn’t have a proper handle on that, but now I have clarity of what I’ve done and that awareness is huge to me that I can avoid those traps and work on improving myself for the sake of the marriage.
When I get “advice” from other people that feed my inner cat I know when to discard it as bad advice and not follow it. I like the man I am becoming; it’s already helped me become a better parent this week.
I’ve overcome my fear this week; knowing that even if we end in divorce it doesn’t mean it’s completely over is huge, most importantly, knowing what emotions and attitudes make me look unattractive… and being able to relate to that totally from my marriage is another game changer for me.
The biggest thing that surprised me was how engaged David was through the whole process. I thought I was going to be given access to a website and that was it - I’ve paid for a library, nothing more. I got daily check-ins from David who tailored my learning to specifically what I needed this week. I was able to talk back and forth to clarify any questions I had with him and he was responsive. Writing my notes and findings was great to document for myself to know what I was thinking and feeling, but David was reviewing and giving feedback and then altering my training based on it. That 1:1 attention was very comforting when I was in a delicate place; it’s very reassuring to know that you’re being helped along.”
Mike Henshaw
Orlando, Florida